Calgon take me the EFF away

OH MY word, you should have seen the hot mess who was in Rite Aid tonight.

She walked in all frazzled- a toddler on one hip, carrying a baby in a carrier in the other arm. She hadn’t showered, had gray roots taking over her highlighted head. She sighed and grunted getting the toddler into the cart, with the baby carrier inside the cart. The toddler, had a runny nose, and was yelling for water at almost the top of her lungs. The baby would cry everytime the woman stopped her cart. She was obviously frazzled and couldn’t at all concentrate on what she was there to buy, even though she had a detailed list and organized coupons. She didn’t get half of what she went there to buy. And the poor baby- it was found soaking wet on the bottom once they got home and he was taken out of the carrier. And how you ask do I know about the state of the baby once they arrived home? Well in case I forgot to mention it earlier….. that hot mess of a woman was… ME. Ugh, what has happened to me.

Honestly, I don’t mean to be a downer debbie tonight…. but I am just so frustrated. DJ has been working really late, and that is certainly a good thing. BUT, on Saturday night he went to the Hockey Game and then tonight he is down at the Metallica concert. That is great and all…. but I can’t help but to feel a little bitter. I really could use some time off/fun time/time away. I mean, with him working overtime, that means I am handling everything on my own. No break (little as it may be) when he comes home- cause he is coming home so late. And now, on times when he is getting out of work at a decent hour- he is going out and still leaving me to be at home taking care of everything alone. And I am trying to do so much. Budgetting, and couponing, doing my home based business, trying to organize the house, etc. Not to mention that just keeping up with the daily stuff is exhausting enough. Oh, and I am trying to cook healthy meals, and do my turbo jam videos. So, I just feel, sad, alone, lonely, desserted. I know I am being silly, there are so many Moms out there who handle so much more and are single Mom’s…. but, well, I am not supposed to be. I mean, the truth is it wouldn’t even be that bad if I just got SOME encouragement. But I haven’t been keeping the house up so well, and well, he has been coming home and complaining about the mess. What he doesn’t get is that I have picked up Maddie’s bath toys 5 times throughout the day. The girl gets into EVERYTHING… it is just so hard to keep the house picked up at all times. I don’t really talk much to him about this stuff cause I know his take on the whole thing. He never wanted me to stay home, and it is what I wanted. So he doesn’t “Get” why I need help, or a break, etc. And he is right it is what I DO want, and I feel blessed to be doing it. But it really doesn’t change the fact that it is HARD. When I go back to work, aside from the sadness of being away from my kids…. it will be a vacation…that I will get paid for, and get some recognition for. I knew it would be hard… just not sure I knew this hard.

This brings me to another subject, last night I was showering after my workout and I was thinking about how hard it really is. When I was talking to my Boss about leaving work. I went over all of my concerns with him. The biggest one being how people in the ad industry will view me for having taken time to raise my child. (the ad industry is not a very family friendly industry, infact it is full of big-time career driven people.) And he said to me that I would have NO problem getting a job, infact, it would be a positive thing. Even at the time, I didn’t get it. I can’t remember his exact words, when I asked him surprisingly “WHY?” But basically he just said that staying home is one of the hardest jobs, the hugest sacrifice, and people know that. Hmm, now I suddenly get it.

He also told me what I already knew, that it was hard times when him and his wife decided to have her stay home (their income was cut in half as well) and he said that there were many times that he would come home, needing some peace and quiet and didn’t want to talk, and she was dying to have some adult interaction, but that looking back, as hard as it was, neither had regrets about those hard times. I KNOW this will be the case with DJ and I. I, even though it IS hard, already know I am going to look back and not have any regrets… DJ doesn’t know it yet, but I am certain he will feel the same. And he will tell me “you were right Babe, it was a good thing”. But for now, don’t mind me while I virtually slap him on the back of the head (just a love tap of course) in hopes of getting him to be a bit more sensitive on what I am going through right now.

After I (the hot mess) got home from Rite Aid tonight, I was exhausted, near tears, and just down right frustrated. But lucky for me, the little man of the house gave me some much needed baby Cam therapy. (Doesn’t it sometimes seem like they have a 6th sense?) He gurgled and cooed and purred and smiled and laughed (He could actually get some words (babbles) in with Maddie being in bed). It made everything ALL better. There is nothing that a little baby cam therapy can’t make better! So, in his honor tonight, here is a sweet cute picture of my little love love.

I told my husband that my staying home would get us in the habit of being more frugal.  I meant, that it would be something we would learn and keep in the habit of once I returned to work.

I do think this is true.  Because honestly, now that I have started this couponing thing, I just do not see myself stopping.  It is addicting.  I love the challenge of seeing what I can get and for how much (or rather how little- hee hee).

I am getting better at the couponing.  It does certainly take some time to do.  But, there were so many times at work that I would be bored out of my mind wishing I had something to do to make the time go by.  (Yes hard to believe I used to get paid big bucks to sit around wishing I had something to keep me busy)  So I would actually have MORE time to do my couponing prep, and I could even use my lunch hour to run out to Walgreens or CVS.  Gosh, I am almost talking myself into wanting to go back to work.  (KIDDING).  But honestly, a quiet car ride to work, stop off for Starbucks, and then the quiet morning to get things organized.  Oh, that is starting to sound better and better.  Now-a-days I wake up to BAAAAANNNNNNNNAAAAAAAANNNNAAAAAAAA!!!  Again and again and again. Until I give some cute little snotty nosed toddler her banana.  Or brainstorm what I can possibly give her that will suffice when we are out of above mentioned BAAAAANNNNNNNNAAAAAAAANNNNAAAAAAAA!!!s

Anyhow, I digress from what I came here to discuss.  My latest couponing ADVENTURE!  I mentioned above that I am getting better at this!  It will show.  Please see below picture.  But you are NOT going to believe how much I paid out of pocket for it this time!  In the past I have been pretty proud of myself.  But now, I realize that was nothing!  Here are the goods:

No, Again, you are not going to believe that I only paid…. are you ready for this…. I only paid….$ 5.52 for above goods!  I know, I ROCK